A giant rocket penis goes to space
And it’s the best metaphor for absolutely everything.
You’re pacing the kitchen, listening to Brene Brown talk about vulnerability. You’re also thinking about critical race theory, and today’s rocket launch to the moon, and you’re stirring pancake batter.
You switch off Brene, turn on the TV. There’s the rocket, headed toward the moon. You blink.
It looks like a giant penis. A rocket that looks like a giant penis is heading toward the moon. You stop stirring the batter and assess things.
Great Britain is et-up with Covid. The Delta variant is 80% of cases in the U.S. because folks won’t take the vaccine. The Olympic committee built cardboard beds for the athletes in an attempt to prevent sex during a pandemic. Because cardboard beds are just what will keep the most bendable and in-shape men and women on the planet from twisting in pretzels and doing the do.
This warped pandemic thinking is why a giant rocket penis is lifting off to the moon. We have our heads in the wrong places. No pun intended.
You switch channels. Over in Texas, the guv’nah has signed an education bill that states teachers cannot be compelled to discuss the events of our times. If they do, they must “give deference to both sides.”
Essentially, teachers who attempt to teach Critical Race Theory, formerly known as Actual Factual Truth in History, have to say yes, Virginia, there were good people on both sides in Charlottesville. It’s the 2021-Covid version of “there were good massas down on the plantation.”
Critical race theory, with its truths, can’t be taught. But, to poorly paraphrase the fabulous Gil Scott Heron, we out here going to the moon. On a penis.
There is a porn movie series in this. A drinking game.
You have spent the morning squinting while thumb-tapping information into a pharmacy app, trying to get a lower-cost prescription for medicine, which was $25 three months ago for 90 pills, and is now, inexplicably, $75 for 30 of the same strength. You cannot, despite having a chain for eyeglasses, actually find your eyeglasses, hence the squint. The chain is right here, though, draped around your neck.
